Canadian Bacon

Canadian Bacon is a 1995 American-Canadian comedy film which satirizes Canada–United States relations along the Canada–United States border.

Directed by Michael Moore; Produced by David Brown, Michael Moore and Ron Rotholtz; Written by Michael Moore
Help America fight the Canadians

Bud Boomer

  • There's a time to think, and a time to act. And this, gentlemen, is no time to think.
  • I'll tell ya another thing: their beer sucks!
  • If life hands you a lemon, you gotta crush it into lemonade.
  • What about Jurassic Park? Two black guys died in that movie. That's a twofer!

U. S. President

  • I want to say to Prime Minister MacDonald: Surrender her pronto, or we'll level Toronto.

Honey

  • [being held in Canada] Boomer! You traitor! You Benedict Arnold! You took off and you left me here in the hands of those Canadians! I'm gonna tear you till and I'll rip out every bone in your body! Boomer, you hear me?!
  • If you say "please" one more time, I'm gonna let you have it!

Dialogue

[Boomer, Honey, Kabral, and Roy Boy were littering in a park in Canada]
Bud Boomer: This'll drive them crazy!
Honey: There is no more heinous crime than this in Canada.
Roy Boy: Are you sure we're in Canada?
Honey: Do you smell anything?
Roy Boy: No.
Honey: Exactly, Canada!
Bud Boomer: Hey, those look like my socks. That isn't garbage! That's my laundry. Roy Boy, you idiot! Pick this up! You stupid jerk, what are you doing?! My good stuff. [two Mounties arrive on horseback]
Mountie Major: Hello, who goes there?
Bud Boomer: Freeze!
Honey: Johnny Canuck!
Mountie Major: I must ask you to leave the park immediately and go back to where you came from.
Bud Boomer: Scatter! Everybody back to the boat! [Boomer, Kabral and Roy Boy head for the boat, unaware that they have left Honey behind]
Mountie Sergeant: Sir, you can't end your sentence with a preposition.
Mountie Major: Oh, really? Well, what would you say?
Mountie Sergeant: Well, I guess, I'd say either, "Go back from where you came," or the preferred Queen's English, "Go back, thee, from whence thou came."
[Boomer, Kabral and Roy Boy have entered a hydroelectric power plant in the border]
Bud Boomer: All right, Pops, who's in charge?
Pops: Just the two of us, just Ruthie and me.
Kabral Jabar: No other personnel in the whole building?
Ruthie: No, we're the night shift.
Roy Boy: Excuse me, ma'am, there's not another control room?
Ruthie: No, dear. This is it.
Roy Boy: Thank you.
Kabral Jabar: Boomer, maybe we better just go, huh?
Bud Boomer: Stand your ground, soldier!
Kabral Jabar: Oh, brother.
Bud Boomer: Now, let me get this straight. You're telling me that you two are responsible for supplying all the electricity to your entire nation?
Pops: That's about the size of it.
Ruthie: Oh, Dad. Does he ever like to brag.
Bud Boomer: Put those needles down, nice and easy, where I can see them. Spread out! Find the power source for the Mountie Headquarters. I'm going to ask you one more time. Where is the power switch to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Headquarters? You're going to tell me sooner or later. Now, we can do it my way, which is very nice right now, or we can do it their way, which you're not going to like. [after a pause, Boomer notices a red switch on the wall] You Canadians are so sneaky!
Ruthie: Don't touch that! You'll black out most of Canada!
Bud Boomer: [chuckles] Yeah, right. Lady, what do we look like, jerks? Please. [switches the switch off, cutting the power off]
Kabral Jabar: Oh, you screwed up now.
Bud Boomer: I'll be the judge of the one who screwed up! [the power is also cut off from various cities of Canada, including Toronto and Ottawa] All right, let's move out! And you, don't tell anybody we was here! Come on! [the guys leave the control room]
Ruthie: You know, I could get to like this.
Pops: Really?
President: What is this? What's happening?
General Panzer: All of Canada is going dark, sir.
President: Oh, my God. What do you make of this?
General Panzer: I'll tell you what I think, but you won't like it.
Stu Smiley: Mr. President, Prime Minister McDonald, calling from Ottawa.
President: [takes the receiver] Clark, hi. Now, why would we want to cut off your power? No. What--? No, calm down. Calm-- No, if we were up to something, we would have mined your harbors.
General Panzer: Damn right.
President: What? Who? Yeah, I see. Yeah. Yeah, all right. Well, we'll check this out and we'll get back to you. Goodbye! [hangs up the receiver] You're not going to believe this. That same goddamned sheriff from Niagara Falls, that hero, Bud Boomer, he's the one responsible for the blackout!
General Panzer: Boomer?! Oh, sir, that's bullshit! This is a Canadian trick. You know, blame us, get world sympathy, and make it for impossible for our night-attack bombers to locate their cities and destroy their inhabitants. God, sir, that's the oldest trick in the book!
Niagara Falls Mountie: Welcome to Canada.
Bud Boomer: Hold it right there, Canuck!
Niagara Falls Mountie: Who are you?
Bud Boomer: I'm your worst nightmare. I'm a citizen with a constitutional right to bear arms!
Niagara Falls Mountie: Take the pelts. Take whatever you want.
Roy Boy: We don't want your stinking pelts.
Niagara Falls Mountie: Have some fudge. Just leave me alone.
Kabral Jabar: Didn't you hear him? We're your worst nightmare.
Niagara Falls Mountie: My worst nightmare involved a pack of rabid wolves. I was stuck somewhere in the Yukon, and there were tall, skinny rabbits, and they were drinking heavily.
Bud Boomer: Just shut up! We want your prisoner. Now, where is she?
Niagara Falls Mountie: I don't know what you're talking aboot, eh?
Kabral Jabar: "Aboot"? It's about! What we're talking about! And enough of that "eh" business! You're gonna learn how to talk right, understand?
Roy Boy: We've got ways of making you pronounce the letter "O".
Bud Boomer: I want my Honey! [Kabral cocks his rifle] Now, get the keys for the cells, now. NOW!

Cast

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