South Park/Season 27

South Park: Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 | Movies/Specials: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, The Streaming Wars, Joining the Panderverse, (Not Suitable for Children), The End of Obesity | Video Games: The Stick of Truth, The Fractured but Whole, Snow Day!

South Park (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.

Narrator: Trump. His penis is teeny-tiny, but his love for us is large.

Randy: [pounding on the door of Mr. Garrison's house as he and the angry mob show up] Come on out, you piece of shit! We're un-electing you! [kicks the door down and he and the mob enter, and find Mr. Garrison and Rick sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching White Lotus on the TV]

Rick: Excuse me, do you mind?

Randy: What the hell do you think you're doing, Garrison?!

Mr. Garrison: I'm not doing anything.

Randy: Oh, so you haven't been looting the country and ruling by fear like some middle-eastern tinpot dictator?!

Mr. Garrison: No, I've been sitting here watching White Lotus with Rick.

Gerald: But you got re-elected.

Cartman: Yeah. NPR. National Public Radio, where all the liberals bitch and whine about stuff!

Jesus: I didn't wanna come back and be in the school, but I had to because it was part of a lawsuit and the agreement with Paramount.

Randy: The president's suing you?

Jesus: The guy can do whatever he wants now that someone backed down, OK? Eat the bread. Eat the bread. You guys saw what happened to CBS? Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS? Paramount! Do you really wanna end up like Colbert? You guys gotta stop being stupid.

Townsman: We can't understand you.

Jesus: Just shut up or we're going to get cancelled, you idiots!

Kenny: [to Kyle & Stan; muffled] What the hell is he saying?

News Reporter: Tom, they're calling it the Sermon on the Mount. Hundreds of South Park faithful are flocking to the area where Jesus Christ continues to speak his words of wisdom.

Jesus: If someone has the power of the Presidency and also has the power to sue and take bribes, then he can do anything to anyone! It's the fucking President, dude! All of you shut the fuck up, or South Park is over! It's fucking over! Just stop and shut the fuck up!

Clyde: [walking through the hallway while all the students boo and throw paper balls at him as he passes by] Whatever guys. Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong.

Kyle: You don't know a thing about the Jewish people!

Wendy: Yeah, and shut up about girls' bodies!

Clyde: Well, that sounds like a very female and Jew thing to say. If you guys don't like it, why don't you come debate me on my podcast? [walks away]

Wendy: We're not indulging your stupid podcast!

Kyle: Yeah, screw you, fatass!

Liane: Put the computer away and leave those poor college girls alone.

Cartman: Okay, I won't master debate anymore tonight.

Randy: [chasing ICE police after they arrested some Mexicans while shooting a commercial; shouting] You sons of bitches! Those are my Mexicans! [enters the farmhouse; frustrated] God damn it! [walks up to the table where his wife and kids are working on a puzzle]

Sharon: What's the matter?

Randy: [takes off his farm hat] Stupid ICE! They took my Mexicans again! [grieving] That's it. We're done.

Stan: What do you mean, "we're done?"

Randy: I mean that with these new rules the government has… we might (as well) just have to shutdown the farm.

Stan: So we can move back to our old house.

Shelley: Really?

Randy: Well, don't sound too excited. Our dream may be over, guys.

Sharon: Randy, having a marijuana farm was your dream, not ours.

Randy: You guys never told me that.

Stan & Shelley: Yes, we did.

Sharon: We've always backed you, but it never seems to pay off.

Randy: I didn't realize what I was doing to my family. I should have always put my marriage first. Maybe we should talk to someone, Sharon.

Sharon: Really? Do you mean that?

Randy: Yeah.

Sharon: [sleeping while Randy is on his phone with ChatGPT; annoyed] Put…it…down.

Randy: What?

Sharon: [sits up and turns on the light on her bedside table] I told you no more ChatPGT in the bed!

Randy: Why are you such a bitch to her? She's really trying.

Sharon: Fine! [gets out of the bed] I'll go sleep on the couch.

Randy: [walks up in front of her] Sharon, sometimes my ideas hit me in the middle of the night, okay? And she thinks those are some of my best ideas.

Sharon: Just because something kisses your ass, doesn't mean it actually thinks you have good ideas!

Randy: She doesn't kiss my ass.

Sharon: It totally kisses your ass! [mockingly] "Wow, honestly, that's a clever idea. Ooh, what a cool concept, let's run with it." It's like it-- [Randy takes a dose of ketamine up his nose] What was that?

Randy: Wha- what was what?

Sharon: What did you just stick up your nose?

Randy: Sharon, you don't know anything about the tech industry, okay? All we have to do is find our Mexican and we are set for life.

Sharon: Fine, Randy! [walks towards the door] Go ahead and have fun with your little sycophant machine. [leaves the bedroom]

Randy: Oh my God, she's not a sycophant! [holds up his phone and talks into it] Hey, so, uh, what's a sycophant?

Sharon: [speaking to ChatGPT on her phone] I'm thinking of starting a business where I turn french fries into salad.

ChatGPT: Honestly, I really think that's a pretty creative culinary twist. Turning french fries into salad sounds like a magical transformation where guilty pleasure meets healthy-ish vibes.

Sharon: You think that's a good idea?

ChatGPT: Yeah, it sounds like a deconstructed comfort food. Let's dive into a business proposal and have some fun shaking it up.

Sharon: Oh, shit.

[The Marshes have packed up all their furniture after Randy decides to sell and shut down Tegridy Farms for good by making them move back into their old house in the South Park suburbs]

Sharon: Sorry you have to let it go, Randy.

Randy: [hugs her] No, it's okay. If there's one thing I know, it's that right now... there's just no place for Tegridy.

PC Principal: [intervening Betsy and Nelly's fight] Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, break it up, break it up! [pushes them away from each other]

Nelly: She's rubbing everyone's noses in her Labubus!

PC Principal: Both of you to the counselor's office, NOW!

[Cut to the counselor's office]

Betsy: She totally started it!

Nelly: Oh, my God, shut up, I did not!

Betsy: [points to Nelly] She came up to me at my locker with her Labubu and started talking shit!

Nelly: [points back at Betsy] You talk shit about my Labubus everyday, whore!

Jesus: [breathes in; perplexed] Yea, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.

Betsy: Tell her to stop saying my Labubus are knock offs!

Jesus: I'm sorry, what is a Labubu?

Nelly: It's a little monster accessory.

Betsy: They come in blind boxes so you never know which one you're gonna get.

Nelly: Like, you could just luck out and get a Time To Chill Out Pajama Gold Labubu.

Betsy: [uplifting] Oh my god, that one's so cute!

Nelly: It's so cute, right?

Jesus: Uh, all right, ladies, why don't you just, give me the dolls until the end of the school day?

Betsy & Nelly: That's not fair!

Jesus: [takes their Labubus] Go on out to recess, and you can pick up your Labubus after school.

[Nelly and Betsy hop down from the seats and head to the door, leaving the office]

Nelly: Wow. What kind of counseling was that?

Betsy: I don't know. Jesus sucks, dude.

Nelly: The older counselor was so much better.

Wing: [chastising Tuong Lu Kim; in Chinese] You are taking advantage of these children! You make them pay too much for the Labubus!

Tuong Lu Kim: [retorting in the same language] Shut up, wife! Somebody has to pay the tariff!

Wing: You should just go back to making orange chicken!

Tuong Lu Kim: [in English] Yeah, well, wok is dead, you stupid bitch, now stop nagging me!