Spice World

Spice World is a 1997 film about the Spice Girls and their entourage (mostly fictional characters) - manager Clifford, his assistant Deborah, filmmaker Piers (who is trying to shoot a documentary on “the real Spice Girls”) and others in their everyday life.

Victoria: It’s always the same. I never know what to wear.

Mel C: It must be so hard for you, Victoria. I mean, having to decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress, the little Gucci dress, or... the little Gucci dress!

Victoria: Exactly.

Emma: I know, why don’t you wear the little Gucci dress?

Victoria: Good idea. Thanks, Em.

Kevin McMaxford: Something’s happening to me. What is it?

Brian: You’re smiling, sir.

Geri: Check!

Mel B: What d’you mean “check?”

Geri: I mean, check; my bishop’s got your king.

Mel B: Where?

Geri: There! You’ve either got to move it in front, or move it out of the way.

Mel B: Well I’ll move that fairground horse to there. Sort that out!

Geri: You can’t do that!

Mel B: Says who?

Geri: Says Mr. Chess! It’s been in the rules for thousands of years!

Mel B: Well I’m gonna break the rules and set this little fairground horse free amongst all these little square fields, like that. There!

Geri: I’m gonna slap you in a minute!

Emma: But we can’t dance like that.

Mr. Step: I know. I’ve seen your videos! Hahahahahaha!

Spice Girls: We’re the Spice Girls, yes indeed. Just Girl Power is all we need. We know how we got this far…

Geri: Strength and courage and a Wonderbra!

Spice Girls: Would this work with only one?

Emma: Just with me, I’d have no fun.

Spice Girls: Would this work with only two?

Mel B: We need more for what we do.

Spice Girls: Would this work with only three?

Mel C: Three’s a crowd, bad company.

Spice Girls: Would this work with only four?

Victoria: No way, girls, we need one more!

Spice Girls: Listen up, take my advice - we need five for the power of Spice. Give it up, give it out, take a stand, scream and shout! One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls! One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!

Sporty: Is it a boy or a girl?

Baby: It’s a beetroot!

Scary: It’s a girl!

Geri: Did you know, that the largest fish in the world is the manta ray?

Victoria: And then there’s the little ginger one, that is full of useless information, about manta rays!

Geri: How my Gloria get her clothes so dirty, I’ll never know.

Emma: My poor back.

Mel B: I don’t know how you can have any more of them kids. You already got six of them don’t ya?

Emma: Is it six?

Mel B: Mmm.

Emma: Yeah, but they just get so cute until they grow up to be real little bleeders.

Victoria: Thank god for boarding school; I only see mine once a month. Cheers

Mel C: You know, our little Terry, he comes up to me and he says “Mom, I want to be a singer,” I said “listen lad, go to college, get a proper job.” Does he listen? No.

Mel B: They never do now do they---

Geri: Darling, kids today just don’t know how…

All: Lucky they are. (Music Blares Up)

Geri: Brucey, Demi, Will you turn that bloody racket down?

Geri: Ok, Horiscopes.

Emma: You know, I don't believe in star signs.

Geri: You see, you wouldn’t because you're an aquarian, and aquraians don't believe in anything.

Emma: Now I don’t believe that either.

Mel B: Ohh no, I can’t find my boots. I think I’ve lost them.

Victoria: It’s always the same. I never know what to wear.

Mel C: It must be so hard for you, Victoria. I mean, having to decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress, the little Gucci dress, or… the little Gucci dress!

Victoria: Exactly.

Emma: I know, why don’t you wear the little Gucci dress?

Victoria: Good idea. Thanks, Em.

Mel B: (Later on she finds them on Geri's feet.) HA. THERE THEY ARE!

Geri: What?

Mel B: My boots, Geri, You’re wearing my boots.

Geri: Oh yeah, I don’t know how that happened.

Mel B: Typical. Typical Leo that is isn’t? Borrowing stuff without even asking me.

Geri: No, that’s Capricorns.

Mel C: Oy. Don’t even Start On the Capricorns.

Mel B: That’s is. You’ve had it.

Geri: Alright FINE TAKE THEM BACK!

Mel B: NO, I DON’T WANT THEM ANYMORE! (playfully fighting and commotion, then Mel C and Emma jumps in.)

Victoria: EXCUSE ME!!!

All: WHAT?

Victoria: (holding up yet another gucci dress) What do you guys think of this one?

All: Great. (continues Play fighting and commotion.)

(The Girls are walking through the woods at night looking for a place to pee)

Emma: I don’t wanna go any further, I’m scared!

Victoria: Why does the countryside have to be so bloody muddy?

Mel B: You know what? Something just brushed past me, and I’m not joking.

Geri: It’s probably something that wants to eat you.

(A loud noise is heard)

Mel C: Oh, pack it in, Mel!

Mel B: It wasn’t me!

Geri: I think we’re lost, you know?

(Suddenly, a HUGE gust of wind blows in, followed by a bright light)

Mel C: WHAT’S THAT?!

(The source of both turns out to be a UFO heading for the terrified Girls)

Geri: OH MY GOD, RUN FOR IT!!

Emma: I CAN’T MOVE!!

(The UFO lands, and out come four short aliens in green coats)

Alien #1: (in alien language) It’s them, it’s them! Look!

Alien #2: (in alien language) Are you sure?

Alien #1: (in alien language) Yes! There’s the little blonde one.

Alien #2: (in alien language) That’s what you said last time, and it was a sheep!

(One of the aliens reaches for Mel B’s chest and she swats his hand)

Mel B: OI, GET OFF!

Mel C: Mel, you’ve done it now!

Alien #2: (in alien language) I told you, shake HANDS!

Mel B: Geri, go on, say something to them!

Geri: What do you want with us?

Alien #2: (in alien language) Are you the Spice Girls?

Girls: Yes.

Alien #2: (in alien language) Can we have tickets for your Albert Hall gig?

Emma: I’m really sorry, but it’s all sold out.

Alien #2: (in alien language) I told you we should’ve booked early!

(Alien #1 holds out a notepad)

Mel C: What’s that? What is it?

Alien #1: (in alien language) Can I have your autograph? It’s not for me, it’s for my brother.

Mel C: What’s his name?

Alien #1: (in alien language) Krtkkarphillmuk.

Mel C: Is that with 3 or 4 K’s?

Emma: It’s 4.

(The 4th alien opens his coat)

Alien #4: (in alien language) Could you sign this, Posh?

Victoria: Oh gosh, you’re fat!

Alien #1: (in alien language) Give us a kiss, Ginger one!

Emma: Eww, he wants you to snog him!

(The other Girls recoil in disgust while Geri kisses the aliens)

Alien #1: (in alien language) YIPPEE!

Emma: You want a picture?

Alien #2: (in alien language) Say “khttttyakkk!”

(He takes a picture of the Girls w/ the aliens; cut back to the Spicebus)

Clifford: What d’you mean, aliens?

Mel C: You know, aliens from outer space?

Emma: They had these little squidgy faces!

Victoria: Yeah, and really cheap green coats!

Clifford: You’re obviously under massive stress. I think you need some time off.

Victoria: (after the girls hear noises in the night and after running into each other and scaring themselves, seek refuge in Victoria’s room) It’s pathetic, you know, that we can’t even sleep in our own rooms.

Mel C: Yeah, I don’t know what we’re making such a fuss for, it’s only an old house.

Victoria: A big old house.

Emma: (very scared) A big old scary haunted, big old house.

Mel B: Well, I had this horrible dream last night. I dreamt we were all doing the live show, and I went on the stage. And I was just about to open my gob, and nowt came out. But something even more weird happened. I realized, right?

Mel C: You didn’t have a head?

All: Yeah. How did you know?

Mel C: I had exactly the same dream.

Mel B: No way. No.

Victoria: I had exactly the same dream, but mine was much, much worse. Well, you see, I had a head, but there was no make-up on it.

Geri: Oh, no.

Emma: I just don’t understand. So, what does it all mean?

Geri: Probably our subconscious minds, so we don’t have to deal with our anxieties when we’re awake.

Mel B: Like we’re all gonna be scared of this live show.

Emma: And that we might not be able to sing.

Mel C: And it’s gonna be a complete disaster.

Victoria: Oh, no.

Emma: Let’s just stay here together.

Mel C: Yeah. Squash up. I’m going to sleep now.

Mel B: I am. See ya.

Clifford: (after they have a fall into the Thames) Look at this! Front page news again. Suppose the whole lot you had been drowned?

Geri: Well we weren’t though, were we?

Victoria: Speak for yourself.

Clifford: What do you think you were doing, going off like that?

Mel B: We were just having fun!

Clifford: What?!

Emma: You know, fun? Like, “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”

(As the Spice Girls are performing “Spice Up Your Life”)

Martin Barnfield: Gonna make this movie? Have we got a deal?

Clifford: We’ve got a deal. Yes!

• They perform for royalty and entertain millions the world over. But now, they’re making a movie.
• You say you want a revolution?
• They Don’t Just Sing!
• Five girls. Five days. One rocking world!