Boarding Round/Chapter 2

This board consisted of five men. They deserve our notice individually. First and foremost was the Reverend Thomas Colon, D.D. He had for many years been pastor of the Congregational Church of Winfield. He was a man of learning and ability. His forcefulness of character revealed itself in his very presence. But in his theology he was of the old school. He was extremely conservative. And he liked nothing better than to oblige his young friends, who, he thought, were imbibing new notions, to defend themselves against his hyper-Calvinistic dogmas. So it was that his part of the examination of candidates for teaching usually consisted in putting to them some abstruse questions in debatable theology.

The next man that we notice was the Hon. Theophilus Bitum. He was a legal counselor whose home was in Winfield, and who had been for a considerable time a member of the school board. He had an angular, wedge​shaped face, with a long aquiline nose, on which rested a pair of spectacles made conspicuous by their heavy gold frame. Only wealthy, professional, or especially honorable people, were accustomed to wear such glasses in those days. So these upon the aquiline nose of the attorney were popularly supposed to have a promotive influence upon his mental activities when he was handling questions at law. And when young neophytes of the pedagogic profession came before him, their influence was too quickly apparent. It might have been well for him to have removed his glasses at such critical junctures, but no one ventured to make such a suggestion.

Another member of the examining committee was the village physician, Dr. Burner. His skill in the diagnosis of diseases was his justification for attempting to diagnose school teachers also. He carried a lancet in his pocket, and, according to belief of the time, was always ready to bleed a patient when first called to him. James Sears had once been through that experience in the first stages of typhoid fever, and he might be apprehensive that a similar process would be decided upon again. His cheeks were rosy, and betrayed a fair supply of fresh blood. Would it be thought that his naturally impulsive temperament should be evened up a little by quieting his pulse?

And now "Marster Brown," whom Uncle ​Steve had mentioned, must not be passed over without notice. He had "kept" school a good many years, and there were few people who had a good understanding of anything, which thing he didn't know. That is, he himself gave the impression that such was the case. Long "experience had made him sage." He could examine would-be school teachers on subjects, with which want of familiarity would be a serious bar to their healthy progress. He knew how things were, and how they should be.

But the last, though not least, member of the committee was Squire Hendee. He was a unique personality—his more especial characteristics being all his own. He took the utmost pains to preserve intact the dignity with which nature had endowed him, while endeavoring daily to add thereto. With him politeness was made a fine art. His words, too, were trained to keep their places. They were never allowed to crowd or jostle one another. Sometimes intermediary syllables were introduced. Moreover, for the sake of euphony, he often added a letter at the end of a word, or syllable, or else inserted it where it might seem to him that it originally ought to have been. In fine, there was no experiment in the use of the English language, by means of which he conceived that its beauty or impressiveness might be enhanced, that he hesitated to make.

​But politically, the Squire had suffered one disappointment. It had long been his cherished ambition to be sent to the legislature, and for once thus take his place among the other great men of his native State. He would have preferred to have been chosen when the honorable body of lawmakers was to meet in New Haven; for then he might sit beneath the classic shades of Yale; yet he would not have considered it infelicitous to have been accorded a seat in the other capitol building, which stood in most inspiring proximity to the famous Charter Oak. But in the judgment of his townsmen, the time for this supreme honor had not yet arrived. This was a great grief to him, yet he was still living in hope. And while thus sustained, this failure prompted him to cultivate, with still greater carefulness and precision, a style of English, which seemed to himself at once full, elaborate, dignified, and stately.

As there was yet a little time before the committee would get together, James was asked to take a seat in the back parlor, and await their coming. As each, on arrival, passed into the room where they were to have their sitting, he would glance at the young man, as much as to say, "There's our victim." So, at least, it seemed to James, and he kept himself as quiet as he could. But it was hard to sit still. Every passing moment made his situation more and more unbearable. What ​he had thought of, as answers to probable questions, was fast escaping him. The new silk hat and the five-dollar bill were of no use. If he could only get out, and go home! But no, he was there. He was in for it, live or die. So he tried to summon up anything which he had remaining that seemed like courage. At last all were ready, and he was asked to come into the room with the committee. They were seated on one side of a table, and he was given a seat on the other side. As he felt his chair supporting him, he looked up into the five faces, and there were five pairs of eyes looking at him. There was the dignified minister with his wide white necktie, indicating his profession; the eagle-eyed lawyer, more careless of his dress, but intent on business; the physician, with his lancet carefully concealed in his pocket; the old schoolmaster, whose peculiar smile of self-satisfaction was subject to change without notice; and the Squire, whose added wrinkle above his raised eyebrows indicated unusual intellectual activity—all these,—embodiments respectively of theology, law, medicine, pedagogy, and politics,—combined to send an influence across the table, which entered the very bones and marrow of the poor suppliant for grace on the other side of it.

By common consent, the Squire was always expected to act as chairman. He now drew his chair nearer to the candidate. What was ​his object? Was it that, at close range, his first shot might do more execution—it seemed to James as if it must be so—or was it that he might show a more decided friendliness to one whom the law required them to subject to such an unpleasant ordeal?

But with a most gracious air—if indeed it might partake a little of seeming condescension—the Chairman thus began:

"It is a matter of unusual pleasure, Mr. Se-ars, to meet you on this oc-ca-sion, and I have the utmost confidence that the gen-tle-men of this co-mit-tee, as well as my-self, do not believe that any ne-ces-si-ty will arise for the pro-lon-ga-tion of this examination. It may not be in-ap-pro-priate that we commence with geography, as that most in-ter-est-ing science is now attracting renewed attention among learned and scientific men. Will you be pleased to tell us, Mr. Se-ars, why two points on this oblate spheroid, on which we have our abode, are de-nom-i-nated poles?"

"They are the extremities of the axis on which the earth revolves."

"And how would you describe this axis, to which in your answer—which is cor-rect—you refer?"

"It is simply an imaginary line, sir."

"Then you would not say, would you, Mr. Se-ars, that it has any concrete reality?"

"I would not."

​"You would explain it, would you not, Mr. Se-ars, that it bears no relation to the axle on which a carriage wheel revolves, except as an ac-com-mo-dation of speech, by which it is made to come within the scope of our imper-fect un-der-standing?"

"Somewhat so, sir."

By this time James began to think himself fortunate that he had so recently seen some wagon wheels revolve, that so his mind was being aided towards a more perfect understanding of the intricate subject before him. And he also began to feel much at his ease. The attack upon him was far from what he had expected. True, some of the batteries had not opened fire. But he was calm now, and ready for questions. Such figures of speech as his aged friend of the board seat referred to, had ceased from troubling.

"And now, Mr. Se-ars, a word further in regard to the surface of the planet on which we dwell. Let us make a supposition. Let us imagine that an ex-pe-dition, for the pur-pose of ex-plo-ration, were to set sail from the mouth of the majestic river Brah-ma-poot-ra, with the purpose of ascending to the sum-mit of the mountain called Po-po-cat-e-pel, in what direction would they point the prow of their ship? and what very celebrated cape, or point of land ex-tend-ing into the sea, would it be necessary for them to go around, or to double, on their passage?"

​"They would sail in a southwesterly direction, and after passing around the cape of Good Hope, turn to the northwest."

"At what point would they cast anchor for a pro-lon-gation of their journey by land?"

"At Very Cruz."

"Which of our distin-guished military comman-ders recently landed a force there for the conquest of the land of the Mon-te-zuma kings?"

"General Scott."

"What would you say of the brill-ian-cy of his expedition?"

"I would say that it was very brilliant."

"When we take into account the exceeding paucity of his command, and the apparently in-su-per-able and in-sur-mountable obstacles in his path, do you think he has been outdone by any of the generals of antiquity—by Alexander, by Cæsar, by Hannibal, or by Napoleon?"

"Well, sir, I don't know that I am prepared to say that I think he has been."

"Would you, Mr. Se-ars, teach your scholars that our country will most surely, and without a shadow of doubt, at no very distant day rise to a commanding position among the civilized nations of the world? Would you hesitate at all to impart such instruction?"

"Certainly, I should not hesitate to do so." After a long series of similar questions and ​answers, the Squire turned to his associates. "It does not appear to me, gentlemen, that it is necessary that we further prolong this examination in geography. Is it your pleasure to proceed with any other study? If so, will you pro-pound questions?"

Master Brown had been impatiently waiting for such opportunity. He asked the candidate whether he had attended any of the teachers' institutes that had recently been held in neighboring towns. James had attended two of them. And then, in answer to a further question, it came out that he was quite sure that he had got much benefit from them. But the master of long experience could not assent to such an opinion. He said he did not believe in the new-fangled notions that some of the younger teachers were so eager to adopt.

"Better have new-fangled notions than not to have any notions at all," put in Lawyer Bitum. The main object of interest with him was to get some question started that they could discuss among themselves. And when Master Brown still insisted that to have a blackboard and wall maps, and things of that sort, was nonsense, he advocated their use, not only because he thought they should be used, but to see what his opponent would say. At last the discussion became so earnest that the Squire felt obliged to put in a sedative word.

​"Gentlemen," he said, "I think it is the consensus of o-pin-ion among the most fully equipped teachers of the present day, that while blackboards are not a ne-ces-sity, they are highly con-du-cive to suc-cess in im-part-ing instruc-tion."

But now the next one to claim a front seat in the work of examination was Dr. Burner.

"I suppose, Mr. Sears," he opened up, that you have given some attention to physiology?

"Well, not a very great deal," was the reply.

"It is not required by law that it be taught in our schools, so my questions are a little out of course. You will pardon me. You perhaps can tell us how many bones there are in the human system. Or about how many, if you may not tell exactly."

"I think something more than two hundred."

"What difference does it make with a man's ability to teach school whether he knows how many bones he carries about with him?" interrupted Master Brown. But the Doctor was not to be put off the track.

"What are the names of some of the large muscles of the arms and legs? Do you think of any?"

James was obliged to confess that he did not know the names of any of them. He had had no opportunity to study a manikin.

​"A manikin!" shouted Master Brown. "What kind of a creature is that? What are going to get into our schools next? I know what a man is, but what is a man-ikin? Where do they live anyway?"

"All that I have ever seen were dead," James ventured to say.

This pleased Lawyer Bitum exceedingly. Things were getting interesting now. The minister sat grave and solemn. He was waiting for his turn, and the Counselor at Law was waiting for him too. In matters of theology the two were at swords' points. When Dr. Burner thought he had bled his patient sufficiently, he yielded the floor. The Reverend Dr. Colon now began. "I am greatly pleased to know, Mr. Sears, that you have been brought up in a Christian family. Your father, I understand, is a deacon in the church."

Yes, sir, he is."

"And you have been instructed in the catechism as found in the 'New England Primer'?"

James did not make any very direct reply to this remark. "If a teacher is to exert any good moral influence in his school, he must be rooted and grounded in the truth. So we begin with the fundamentals. You believe that Adam sinned for the whole human race, that we all sinned in him?"

"Well, in my own case, I've helped him out ​a good deal," the young seeker for light replied.

Here the Lawyer interrupted. "How does it appear that we did not sin in Eve as much as in Adam? It seems to me that, of the two, we sinned more in her than in him."

"By one man sin entered into the world; is not that Scripture?" pressed the Doctor.

"But was not she his helpmeet?" retorted the Lawyer. "And the first thing in which it appears she rendered him assistance, was in sinning."

"Yes," thrust in Master Brown, "I've seen the whole thing pictured out, in the 'Primer.' Adam and Eve were standing together under the tree, and she was handing him the apple."

"Oh, we get that apple from Milton," said the Doctor. Then turning to the candidate, he asked: "You would teach your scholars what is plainly set forth in the Holy Scriptures?"

"Most assuredly I would."

"And making this a practical matter, you have repented of Adam's sin, I doubt not."

"As to that, I have not got through repenting of my own, and until I do, I can't begin on his very well."

Lawyer Bitum was now ready to spring to his feet. He said to himself: "Ah, we've got a young man here who does his own thinking, and who knows what he is talking about."

​A little pause enabled the chairman to ask: "Shall we, gentlemen, now consider this examination brought to a close?"

Lawyer Bitum called for pen and paper, and immediately proceeded to write out a certificate. All five signed it. Then it was passed to James Ray Sears, as an opinion handed down from the full bench. Then all shook hands with him, as he rose to leave, and none more cordially than the Reverend Doctor,—he remarking as he did so, that he was very glad that they should have him with them, as a teacher, the coming winter. He urged him also to call at his home, and form the acquaintance of his family. He either forgot, or purposely did not say, that he had two daughters at home.

As James passed out of the door, wearing his new silk hat, he seemed to himself several inches taller than when he entered it. He never before walked home of an evening with so light a step.