Love Poems and Others/Coldness in Love
COLDNESS IN LOVE
And you remember, in the afternoonThe sea and the sky went grey, as if there had sunkA flocculent dust on the floor of the world: the festoonOf the sky sagged dusty as spider cloth,And coldness clogged the sea, till it ceased to croon.
A dank, sickening scent came up from the grimeOf weed that blackened the shore, so that I recoiledFeeling the raw cold dun me: and all the timeYou leapt about on the slippery rocks, and threwThe words that rang with a brassy, shallow chime.
And all day long that raw and ancient coldDeadened me through, till the grey downs darkened to sleep.Then I longed for you with your mantle of love to foldMe over, and drive from out of my body the deepCold that had sunk to my soul, and there kept hold.
But still to me all evening long you were cold,And I was numb with a bitter, deathly ache;Till old days drew me back into their fold,And dim sheep crowded me warm with companionship,And old ghosts clustered me close, and sleep was cajoled.
I slept till dawn at the window blew in like dust,Like the linty, raw-cold dust disturbed from the floorOf a disused room: a grey pale light like mustThat settled upon my face and hands till it seemedTo flourish there, as pale mould blooms on a crust.
Then I rose in fear, needing you fearfully,For I thought you were warm as a sudden jet of blood.I thought I could plunge in your spurting hotness, and beClean of the cold and the must.—With my hand on the latchI heard you in your sleep speak strangely to me.
And I dared not enter, feeling suddenly dismayed.So I went and washed my deadened flesh in the seaAnd came back tingling clean, but worn and frayedWith cold, like the shell of the moon: and strange it seemsThat my love has dawned in rose again, like the love of a maid.