Page:Fugitive Poetry 1600-1878.djvu/461

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PARAMOUNT PUNNING.
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   "No, not so well," said he;   "For, when the sheep I got,   They every one died of the rot."   "That was bad," said I;   "No, not so bad," said he;   "For I had thought to scrape the fat   And keep it in an oaken vat;Then into tallow melt for winter store.""Well, then," said I, "that's better than before?"   "'Twas not so well, said he;   "For having got a clumsy fellow   To scrape the fat and melt the tallow;Into the melting fat the fire catches,   And, like brimstone matches,   Burnt my house to ashes."   "That was bad," said I;"No! not so bad," said he; "for, what is best,My scolding wife has gone among the rest."
Paramount Punning; on Setting Up and Sitting down.
A chap once told St. Patrick's Dean,While rising from his seat, "I mean To set up for a wit.""Ah," quoth the Dean, "if that be true,The very best thing you can do Is down again to sit."
Too many, like that would-be wit,Set up for what they are not fit, And always lose their aim;—Set up for wisdom, wealth, renown,But end the farce by sitting down, In poverty and shame.
A middling farmer thinks he canSet up to be a gentleman, And then sit down content;But after many a turn and twist,Is set down on the pauper list, A fool, not worth a cent!
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