Page:Gide - Strait is the Gate.pdf/140

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STRAIT IS THE GATE 134

"This is my last letter, my friend. However uncertain the date of your return may be, it can not be delayed much longer. I shall not be able to write to you any more. I should have preferred our meeting to have been at Fongueusemare, but the weather has broken; it is very cold, and father talks of nothing but going back to town. Now that Juliette and Robert are no longer with us we could easily take you in, but it is better that you should go to Aunt Félicie's, who will be glad, too, to have you. “As the day of our meeting comes near, I look forward to it with growing anxiety, almost with apprehension. I seem now to dread your coming that I so longed for; I try not to think of it; I imagine your ring at the bell, your step on the stairs, and my heart stops beating or hurts me ... And whatever you do, don't expect me to be able to speak to you . I feel my past comes to an end here; I see nothing beyond; my life stops. Four days later, however - a week, that is, before I was liberated from my military service - I received one more letter, a very short one: “My friend, I entirely approve of your not

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