Page:Gide - Strait is the Gate.pdf/189

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187 STRAIT IS THE GATE

She stopped, her voice choking; I exclaimed, almost with hostility: "Why not give it her yourself?” She tried to speak again. Her lips trembled like those of a sobbing child, but she did not cry; the extraordinary light that shone in her eyes flooded her face with an unearthly, an angelic beauty. “Alissa! whom should I marry? You know I can love no one but you ..." and suddenly clasping her wildly, almost brutally in my arms, I crushed my kisses on her lips. An instant I held her unresisting, as she half lay back against me; I saw her look grow dim; then her eyes closed, and in a voice so true and melodious that never, to my mind, will it be equalled: "Have pity on us, my friend!” she said, “Oh! don't spoil our love." Perhaps she said too: "Don't be cowardly!” or perhaps it was I who said it to myself; I cannot tell now; but suddenly flinging myself on my knees before her, and folding my arms piously round her: "If you loved me so, why have you always repulsed me? Think! I waited first for Juliette to be married; I understood your waiting for her to be happy, too; she is happy; you yourself have

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