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209 STRAIT IS THE GATE

love me no longer, so that at the cost of my merits I may bring Thee his, which are so infinitely preferable .. and if to-day my soul sobs with grief at losing him, do I not lose him to find him again hereafter in Thee? Tell me, oh, my God ! what soul ever deserved Thee more? Was he not born for something better than to love me? And should I love him so much if he were to stop short at myself? How much all that might become heroic dwindles in the midst of happiness!

Sunday . “God having provided some better thing for us.” Monday, 3rd May. To think that happiness is here, close by, offering itself, and that one only has to put out one's hand to grasp it ... This morning, as I was talking to him, I consummated the sacrifice.


Monday evening . He leaves to-morrow . Dear Jerome, I still love you with infinite tenderness; but never more shall I be able to tell you so. The constraint which I lay upon my eyes, upon my lips, upon my soul, is so hard that to leave you is a relief and a bitter satisfaction.

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