Page:Life's little ironies (1894).pdf/271

“' Help, help, help ? cried the constables. ‘ Assistance in the name of the Crown !?

The young farmer could do nothing but ride forward. ‘ What’s the matter ? he inquired, as coolly as he could,

"'A deserter—a deserter !’ said they. ‘One who's to be tried by court-martial and shot without parley. He deserted from the Dragoons at Cheltenham some days ago, and was tracked ; but the search-party can’t find him anywhere, and we told ’em if we met him we'd hand him on to ‘em forthwith. The day after he left the barracks the rascal met a respectable farmer and made him drank at an inn, and told him what a fine soldier he would make, and coaxed him to change clothes, to see how well a military uniform would become him. This the simple farmer did; when our deserter said that for a joke he would leave the room and go to the landlady, to see if she would know him in that dress, He never came back, and Farmer Jollice found himself in soldier's clothes, the money in his pockets gone, and, when he got to the stable, his horse gone too.’

“'A scoundrel says the young man in Georgy’s clothes, ‘And is this the wretched caitiff?’ (pointing to Georgy).

"'No, no!’ eries Georgy, as innocent as a babe of this matter of the eoldier’s desertion, ‘He's the man! He was wearing Farmer Jollice’s snit o’ clothes, and he slept in the same room wi’ me, and brought up the subject of changing clothes, which put it into my head to dress myself in his suit before he was awake. He’s got on mine!’

“'D’ye hear the villain ? groans the tall young man to the constables. ‘Trying to get out of hia crime by charging the first innocent man with it that he sees! No, master soldier—that won't do !”