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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
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(Word of ill sound) and put on a revue;Celtic, not French, and full of shadowy girls,Colleens, they call them, clad in shamrock green,And on their lips and feet attractive brogues.Then let us have a scene with lots of pigsAnd call it Bally-something.
Shawn (doubtfully). Bally rotIt sounds to me. But we might try the thing.
Shemus. There's money in a ballet―always was.
Brandgrin (ecstatic). Already in my ears there is a sound,A lowing murmur as of crowded stallsAnd the deep thunder of approving godsThat frights away the Bird. Come, let us go.[They go out. The scene closes.
THE TERRORS OF WAR.
What we have to suffer in our select Club now that all servants of eligible age have joined the Colours.
Temporary Waiter."'Oo said 'Muffings'?"
"Russian Joan of Arc Was Wounded in Foot While Fighting in Poland―Gets Cross."
Headline in a British Columbia paper.
This sort of thing makes even a saint swear.
SIR SVEN HEDIN.
As an Asiatic diggerYou have laboured like a niggerAnd few travellers loom biggerOn that scene,So we thought that you were wiserThan to bolster up the KaiserAs the only civiliser,Sven Hedin.
Here your claims were never slighted,You were fêted, honoured, knighted,And appeared to be delightedBy your mien.Now you aim at something higherAnd as England's vilifierJoin Professor Kuno Meyer,Sven Hedin.
In the work of explorationTo no other foreign nationUnder such an obligationHave you been;Yet you bite the hand that fed you,And within the land that bred youMany friends are like to shed you,Sven Hedin.
THE MARTIAL MUSE.
No self-respecting music publisher has fewer than twenty new patriotic songs to-day on his list and many have more. Of their patriotism there can be no doubt, for one has but to look at the titles, which may be considered under two headings, Pro-Allies and Anti-German.
In the former category we are especially attracted by the following:―
Annette of the Aisne.Boy with the Bayonet, The.Bulldog's Bark and Bite, The.Empty Piccadilly, Lonely Leicester Square.Pipers at Wipers, The.Russians are to have Constantinople, The.
Turning to the Anti-German songs we may single out:―
Baby and the Bomb, The.Bashing the Bosches.Boys of the Dachshund Breed.Champagne Willy is my name.Erring on the Rhine.O Willy, we shan't miss you.
