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it was a "most unpleasant" experience and one that she would not face again for "love or money." The boat went the whole way under full steam, zigzagging about with lights out. I have decided that 1 should be failing in my duty to my numerous relations and friends, and to the office and Tennis Club, etc., if I risked my life for a few days' salmon fishing. Besides, salmon fishing is all a matter of luck, and we might get very few fish or none at all.

Yours sincerely, Brandon Quinn.

Hampstead, May 12th.

Dear Quinn,—I do not feel inclined to give ground to any piratical German marauders. Your letter astonished me. We know that there are submarines about, but your only objection appears to be that adequate precautions are taken to elude them. I understand that if the boat steamed slowly on a direct course, with lights burning brightly, you would be ready to go in her. You remind me of the lady who refused to make a voyage in a ship because she saw a lifebelt in her cabin. By staying below you need not know how the ship is being steered or whether lights are burning or not. You want to know too much. Your job is to be properly seasick and to leave the rest to the captain. It is quite probable that you are not nearly so popular at the office as you suppose, and the Tennis Club will struggle along without you all right, never fear. If we are blown up we shall only fall into water; fibre waistcoats that will float one like a cork can be obtained; watertight sandwich cases can be got for a few shillings, and I know you already possess a flask for keeping liquor hot. If you dislike the idea of getting wet, you can smear yourself with axlegrease, which is quite cheap, and I will gladly lend you a watch that keeps better time wet than dry.

Yours very truly, P. S. Tanker.

Twickenham, May 14th.

Dear Tanker, I have been considering your letter, and in spite of its uncalled-for levity I agree with you that one ought not to admit that the German blockade is achieving its purpose by interfering with our holiday; still one must not be unduly self-indulgent. I hear that a submarine was seen off Holyhead only two days ago. I have made enquiries about insurance rates, and they are prohibitive when one's purpose is nothing but a little fishing. I am sure you must agree with me. It is not as if one had only oneself to consider.

Yours, Brandon Quinn.

Hampstead, May 15th.

Dear Quinn,—It must be all bosh about the submarine off Holyhead. Someone has been frightened by a lobster pot. However, you seem to have made up your mind, so it is no good saying any more on the subject.

Yours truly, P. S. Tanker.

Twickenham, May 16th.

Dear Tanker,—Oh, all right. If you are going to be huffy about not going, let's go. I'm sure I don't mind the risk if you don't.

Yours truly, Brandon Quinn.

Hampstead, May 17th.

My Dear Quinn,—I did not mean to be "huffy." In point of fact I am reconciled to giving up the holiday, for when I got your previous letter I showed it to a friend, and he made the suggestion that if anything happened to you and I felt when I got back that it was due to my having persuaded you from your better judgment I should feel very uncomfortable indeed; and I am bound to say that I think I should. It was a point that had not occurred to me. Added to all this, I have just consented to second a motion in favour of a new stove-pipe at our annual parish meeting, and I cannot very well let them down as we are up against a most formidable reactionary movement. So I'm afraid there is no chance of my being able to come with you. I am sorry. You see how it is, don't you? It's not my fault, I mean; I have all along expressed my willingness to go, as you know.

Ever, my dear Quinn,

Yours, P. S. Tanker.

From a report of the Gaming Raid:—

"The principal male defendant was remanded on boil."—Yorkshire Post.

That should teach him not to get into hot water again.

"Germans boast that submarines are being turned out at the rate of one a fortnight. That is probably an exaggeration, but I know for a fact that within the last three or four months twelve have been constructed at the Hoboken works at Antwerp."

Mr. James Dunn in "The Daily Mail."

Let us hope that his information is no better than his arithmetic.

"2. Saluting the Fag. 'This ceremony,' says the leaflet, 'will doubtless appeal with deeper and clearer meaning than ever before to the children. It is suggested that it should be made as general as possible."

Daily Telegraph.

This part of the Empire Day celebrations was very widely observed by the male juveniles at least; and we noticed that with patriotic discrimination they usually selected the American and not the Turkish variety.

"'During the raid Southend,' said one eyewitness, 'looked more or less as it does in holiday times. The people were out, many of them in their night attire, with an overcoat hastily put on.'"—Morning Post.

"We owe to Sir John French the leadership which has enabled a handful of men from the British Islands, the Dominions, and India to hold back the mightiest army in the world."

Daily Mail.

Still, it would have been only fair to mention that some assistance was received from General Joffre and his platoon.

"Cheesemakers are in high spirits. They are finding a keen demand for newly made cheese at prices well over 80s. per cwt., and indeed the cheese is moving off as fast as it is made."—Glasgow Herald.

Headed by the Gorgonzolas, whose agility is well-known.