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Mrs. Tubbs’s Telegram

[Feb.

brought it just as he would a common repeated message; but this was a special message, it said, from one person to another, and nobody is allowed to know of it but the two persons and the superintendent of the works. They cost something fearful, these unrepeated messages. The boy did n’t say how much.

Miss S. I never even heard of them. [Stiffly] Perhaps I ’d better not stay if it ’s so dreadful private, [Rises to go]

Mrs. T. I want Miss Simpkins should know the news. She ’s allus been a good friend to Roweny. Set down, Miss Simpkins,

Miss S. [Seats herself] Oh, ’t was from Rowena, was it? I s’posed, Mrs, Tubhs, it was from your sister. I ’m awful sorry if anything’s happened to Rowena.

Mrs. R. Well, it has happened, and you need n’t be sorry, neither.

Mrs. D. It ain’t bad news: it’s about the best ye can guess. Roweny Toobs is married to a man with three million dollars.

Miss S.. Geodness! Where ’d she find him?

Mrs. D. We don’t know.

Mrs. R. [Reads telegram] “Have married a millionaire. Three children, Return home Thursday next.”

Miss S. Well, I don’t envy her with three children to bring up. But I will say Rowena Tubbs will make a good step-mother.

Mrs. R. I’ve always said as how something good would come to Roweny Tubbs from her bein’ so faithful to Sunday meetin’.

Mrs. T. [On verge of tears] She allus went twice a day.

Mrs. R. She always went, whatever the weather and [Looks significantly at Miss Simpkins] whether she had a new hat or not. But here comes the children. They must hear the news, But it can be broke different to children. They never take anything hard.

Enter children, noisily, with school books and bags. They run to the box of doughnuts and each takes one, then remove their things, which they hang up or not, just as they please.

Mrs. R. [Catches hold of children] Children; something has happened, and I want you to hear it. [Arranges them in line] Now, in the first place, do you know what a millionaire is?

Teddy. [Raises hand] It ’s a kind of naughty mobile.

Mrs. D. [Proudly| Well, now, that is an idea; ain’t it? I should n’t wonder if Roweny would ride right up to the door on her orter-mobile; and it would be the first one on the street!

T. Is Roweny comin’ home? Hooray! hooray! [Children all caper about]

First Little Tubbs. When ’s she comin’, ma? Can I set up to see her?

Second Little Tubbs. Can I set up to see her?

Third Little Tubbs. Can I set up to see her?

Mrs. R. [Again lines up children] Your mother has had a telegraph this morning.

Children. Oh?!

Amelia. [Pertly] Was it from Aunt Sarah?

Mrs. R. No; it was from Roweny.

A. I did n’t know she had a telegrapht. I thought only Aunt Sarah had a telegrapht.

Mrs. R. [Impressively] Roweny will have everything your Aunt Sarah ever had.

A. [Whimpering] Has Aunt Sarah died?

Mrs. R. No, child, [Goes to Amelia] Stop crying. Nobody said your Aunt Sarah had died.

A. [Nods] You said Roweny was to have all her things.

Mrs. R. I said no such thing. Roweny will have as much as your Aunt Sarah ever had. Listen. Do you know what a millionaire is?

A. [Catches her breath as she speaks in broken sentences] When it’s a man it’s four horses, two behind the others; and when it’s a woman it ’s a cloak lined with fur on both sides, and long feathers on their hats, and everything set in di’monds. [Mrs. D. nods approvingly]

Mrs. R. Do you know what it is for a person to get married, Amelia?

A. Yes,’m.

Mrs. R. Well, what is it?

A. [Trying for some time to form a definition] It ’s what Miss Simpkins ain’t.

Miss S. [Rises tn high dudgeon] Well, I declare! I ’ve a mind to leave this house and never set foot in it again!

A. Oh, Miss Simpkins, please don’t, I did n’t mean anything, I might just as well have said what sister Rowena ain’t. Sister Rowena ’s never going to marry. She said people could do just as much good ’thout bein’