Page:The poetical works of Robert Burns.djvu/159

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THE POEMS OF BURNS.
105
Barr Steenie, Barr Steenie, what mean ye? what mean ye?If ye'll meddle nae mair wi' the matter,Ye may hae some pretence to havins and sense,Wi' people wha ken ye nae better.
Irvine Side, Irvine Side, wi' your turkeycock pride,Of manhood but sma' is your share;Ye've the figure, 'tis true, even your faes will allow,And your friends they dare grant you nae mair.
Muirland Jock, Muirland Jock, when the Lord makes a rockTo crush common sense for her sins,If ill manners were wit, there's no mortal so fitTo confound the poor Doctor at ance.
Holy Will, Holy Will, there was wit i' your skull,When ye pilfer'd the alms o' the poor;The timmer is scant when ye're ta'en for a saint,Wha should swing in a rape for an hour.
Calvin's sons, Calvin's sons, seize your sp'ritual guns,Ammunition you never can need;Your hearts are the stuff will be powther enough,And your skulls are storehouses o' lead.
Poet Burns, Poet Burns, wi' your priest-skelping turns,Why desert ye your auld native shire?Your muse is a gipsie, e'en tho' she were tipsie,She cou'd ca' us nae waur than we are.

ADDRESS TO THE TOOTHACE,

WRITTEN WHEN THE AUTHOR WAS GRIEVOUSLY TORMENTED BY THAT DISORDER.

My curse upon thy venom'd stang,That shoots my tortur'd gums alang;And thro' my lugs gies monie a twang,Wi' gnawing vengeance;Tearing my nerves wi' bitter pang,Like racking engines!
When fevers burn, or ague freezes,Rheumatics gnaw, or colic squeezes;Our neighbour's sympathy may ease us,Wi' pitying moan;But thee—thou hell o' a' diseases,Aye mocks our groan!
Adown my beard the slavers trickle!I throw the wee stools o'er the mickle,As round the fire the giglets keckleTo see me loup;While, raving mad, I wish a heckleWere in their doup.
O' a' the numerous human dools,Ill har'sts, daft bargains, cutty-stools,Or worthy friends rak'd i' the mools,Sad sight to see!The tricks o' knaves, or fash o' fools,Thou bear'st the gree.
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