Page:Women in Love, Lawrence, 1920.djvu/314

"Word for word."

"It is?"

He leaned back in his chair, filled with delight and amuse- ment.

"Well, that's good," he said. "And so you came here to wrestle with your good angel, did you?"

"Did I?" said Birkin.

"Well, it looks like it. Isn't that what you did?"

Now Birkin could not follow Gerald's meaning.

"And what's going to happen?" said Gerald. "You're going to keep open the proposition, so to speak?"

"I suppose so. I vowed to myself I would see them all to the devil. But I suppose I shall ask her again, in a little while."

Gerald watched him steadily.

"So you're fond of her then?" he asked.

"I think I love her," said Birkin, his face going very still and fixed.

Gerald glistened for a moment with pleasure, as if it were something done specially to please him. Then his face as- sumed a fitting gravity, and he nodded his head slowly.

"You know," he said, "I always believed in love-true love. But where does one find it nowadays?"

"I don't know," said Birkin.

"Very rarely," said Gerald. Then, after a pause, "I've never felt it myself-not what I should call love. I've gone after women—and been keen enough over some of them. But

I've never felt love. I don't believe I've ever felt as much love for a woman, as I have for you-not love. You under- stand what I mean?"

"Yes. I'm sure you've never loved a woman."

"You feel that, do you? And do you think I ever shall?

You understand what I mean?" He put his hand to his breast, closing his fist there, as if he would draw something out. "I mean that-that-I can't express what it is, but I know it."

"What is it, then?" asked Birkin.

"You see, I can't put it into words. I mean, at any rate, something abiding, something that can't change―"