Poems (Cary)/Agatha to Harold

AGATHA TO HAROLD.
Come there ever memories, Harold,Like a half remembered songFrom the time of gladness vanishedDown the distance, oh, so long!Come they to me—not in sadness,For they strike into my soul,As the sharp axe of the woodsmanStrikes the dead and sapless bole.
Just across the orchard hill-top,Through the branches gray and bare,We can see the village church-yard—I shall not be lonesome there.When the cold wet leaves are fallingOn the turfless mound below,You will sometimes think about me,You will love me then, I know.In the window of my chamberIs a plant with pale blooms crowned—If the sun shines warm to-morrow,In that quiet church-yard groundI will set it; and at noontimes,When the school-girls thither wend, They will see it o'er me blossomAnd believe I had a friend.Knowest thou the time, oh Harold,When at many a green mound's headRead we o'er the simple recordsLove had written of the dead.While the west was faintly burning,Where the cloudy day was set,Like a blushing press of kisses—Ah, thou never canst forget!
"Thou art young" thou saidst, "thy futureAll in sunlight seems to shine—Art content to crown thy maytimeOut of autumn love like mine?Couldst thou see my locks a fadingWith no sorrow and no fears?—For thou knowest I stand in shadowsDeep to almost twice thy years."In that time my life-blood mountedFrom my bosom to my brow,And I answered simply, truly—(I was younger then than now)—"Were it strange if that a daisySheltered from the tempest stroke,Bloomed contented in the shadowOf the overarching oak?"
When the sun had like a herdsmanClipt the misty waves of morn,By the breezes driven seawardLike a flock of lambs new-shorn; Thou hadst left me, and oh, Harold,Half in gladness, half in tears,I was gazing down the futureO'er the lapses of the years;To what time the clouds about me—All my night of sorrow done—Should blow out their crimson liningsO'er the rising of love's sun;And I said in exultation,"Not the bright ones in the sky,Then shall know a sweeter pleasureThan, my Harold, thou and I."
Thrice the scattered seed had sproutedAs the spring thaw reappeared,And the winter frosts had grizzledThrice the autumn's yellow beard;When that lovely day of promiseDarkened with a dread eclipse,And my heart's long claspéd joyanceDied in moans upon my lips.Silent, saw I other maidensTo a thousand pleasures wed—"Save me from the past, good angel!"—This was all the prayer I said.Sometimes they would smile upon meAs their gay troops passed me by,Saying softly to each other,"How is she content to die?"
Oh, they little guess the barrenWastes on which my visions go,And the conflicts fierce but silentThat at last have made me so.Shall the bright-winged bird be nettedSinging in the open fields,And not struggle with the fowler,Long and vainly ere it yields—Or the heart to death surrenderMortal hoping without strife?But the struggle now is ended—Give me, God, a better life!