Poems (Kimball)/Apprehension

For works with similar titles, see Apprehension.
APPREHENSION.
DEAR Lord, this day is so unlike The day I feared that it would be!I wonder much, I said last night, What it will bring to me.
What does it mean,—this haunting dread?What added sorrows wait me more, And o'er my trembling spirit spread Their shadows thus before?
I seemed to stand upon a brink, Yet could not see the gulf below; It dizzied me to try to think, As with some coming blow.
Dear hands I saw on either side Reach out as for a final kiss; And clasping each o'er each I cried, Not this one, Lord; not this!
I cannot bear one parting more; By heart is at the point to break: As if Thou didst not know before, Dear Lord, to Thee I spake.
And then I slept, the sleep of fear, And waked in sad bewilderment; The day, the dreaded day, was here What trial would be sent?
Up to the zenith rose the sun, And now I watch its bright decline; The hours have passed me one by one; No added griefs are mine!
Still must I feel the piercing sword Of what hath been or yet may be; But from that nameless terror, Lord, At least I am set free.
And slowly, slowly, yet how sure, Returns the restful consciousness That in Thy care I am secure, And chastening, Thou dost bless.
Not more than I can bear I know Thou, dearest Lord, on me wilt lay, And I can learn of Thee to go Unfearing on my way.