Poems (Kimball)/Apprehension

For works with similar titles, see Apprehension.
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APPREHENSION.
DEAR Lord, this day is so unlike  The day I feared that it would be!I wonder much, I said last night,  What it will bring to me.
What does it mean,—this haunting dread? What added sorrows wait me more, And o'er my trembling spirit spread  Their shadows thus before?
I seemed to stand upon a brink,  Yet could not see the gulf below; It dizzied me to try to think,  As with some coming blow.
Dear hands I saw on either side  Reach out as for a final kiss; And clasping each o'er each I cried,  Not this one, Lord; not this!
I cannot bear one parting more;  By heart is at the point to break: As if Thou didst not know before,  Dear Lord, to Thee I spake.
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And then I slept, the sleep of fear,  And waked in sad bewilderment; The day, the dreaded day, was here  What trial would be sent?
Up to the zenith rose the sun,  And now I watch its bright decline; The hours have passed me one by one;  No added griefs are mine!
Still must I feel the piercing sword  Of what hath been or yet may be; But from that nameless terror, Lord,  At least I am set free.
And slowly, slowly, yet how sure,  Returns the restful consciousness That in Thy care I am secure,  And chastening, Thou dost bless.
Not more than I can bear I know  Thou, dearest Lord, on me wilt lay, And I can learn of Thee to go  Unfearing on my way.
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